


I still get butterflies (almost all of the time)

by SoapyPasta



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Established Relationship, Feelings Realization, Fluff without Plot, Just General Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, M/M, Plotless, Ryan Bergara Loves Shane Madej, Ryan-centric, Shane Madej Loves Ryan Bergara, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:46:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24020782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoapyPasta/pseuds/SoapyPasta
Summary: Now, alone, going slow for no other reason than to be in the presence of each other, to share warmth and easy morning kisses, Ryan is sure he finally realises what it means to be in love.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 10
Kudos: 88





	I still get butterflies (almost all of the time)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from [Butterflies ](https://youtu.be/07SqkFdidZQ) \- Thomas Headon which is technically a post-breakup song (I think?) but these lines always make me think of that butterfly Shane has in the glass case:
> 
> "I still get butterflies almost all of the time,  
> But I think it's alright,  
> Because you love butterflies, right?"
> 
> So here you go...

There's this smooth push and pull between them that he thinks may have been missing before. There's an extra soft slip of lips that may have been taken for granted any other time, with any other person.

But here and now, as the move together as one under the sheets on a cool winters morning, Ryan wonders what else they might have missed out on by jumping so quickly into things.

It was natural for them, to rush in and willingly sink down at the deep end, to let the crashing waves of their emotions drown them, because everything was just off the side of too much and never enough.

They don't do much in halves, certainly aren't known for their patience and honestly, knowing each other for so long and only recently realising what's been growing between them? There was this feeling of missing out, of losing something to time that neither of them was willing to accept.

And so they went hard, fast, and dramatic, like with everything else in their lives. Ryan Bergara and Shane Madej aren't well known for their ability to just stop, to think and really feel.

Ryan always thought he'd grow to regret it.

Now, alone, going slow for no other reason than to be in the presence of each other, to share warmth and easy morning kisses, Ryan is sure he finally realises what it means to be in love.

Sure, he's been in love before, with people he can't think to name when Shane's hands are sliding over his skin. He knows what it feels like, it's just never really occurred to him before that it's something he could have again, like this, with the man he's anyway wanted it with deep down.

It finally hits him that he has that with Shane, and they've always had it, even before they knew it, they were in love. For years, probably, when he looks back on it, because he's certain this feeling low in his chest, swarming in his stomach has always been there with Shane.

Butterflies, that's what they call them right? That feeling deep inside that you sometimes want to rip out, that feeling that tells you _him, him, him, he's the one, he'll always be the one._ He's sure he's felt that around Shane for far longer than he'll ever know, for long before he was ever willing to admit it, long before either of them were.

This, the warmth under his skin that just keeps rising but never burns, the smile on his face that he can't seem to push down even as his lips slide against Shane's, the soft giggles they share in the tenderness of each other's embrace for no reason other than because they can. This is it.

It's something he doesn't let himself experience often, it's a feeling he shies away from, because while he looks back on his emotions and analyses them to death he never lets himself feel them in the moment.

It's not an intentional thing, really, it's just he doesn't usually realise what he's feeling until it's gone. He rarely lives them in the instant they happen like this. He rarely really feels them at all.

That's it, he figures a little languidly, as Shane's body presses and moulds around his. That's what makes being in love with Shane so special, so different.

With Shane, he's finally learnt how to truly let himself feel.

He reminds himself to never let them dive straight into anything again, not when playing in the shallows like this feels so good. Not when it's so easy to intertwine his fingers with Shane's and just lay here, under the covers, and not worry about a thing.

"I love you," he murmurs, voice still rough from sleep against his boyfriend's mouth. 

"I love you too, Ry," Shane replies, as though Ryan could ever doubt it, as if he'd ever question it with Shane looking at him like that. 

"I know." Because he does, he just needed to make sure Shane knew it too.

**Author's Note:**

> I figured it was about time I wrote something short and sweet instead of long and angsty. Let me know what you thought!


End file.
